Norton Internet Security Causes the Rise of Cobra

We’re all for product placement in movies, particularly if it’s subtle, but sometimes companies need to be a little more careful about how their products are portrayed. In G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Norton Internet Security suite has a brief, but pivotal role. Symantec, the company that  makes Norton, has even set up a really in-depth G.I. Joe microsite and accompanying facebook page that has neat pictures of all the characters and advises users to “Strike First with the Speed of Norton.”  G.I. Joe-branded Norton Internet Security and Norton Anti-Virus are selling at Best Buy. However, if you watch the film — which is awesome, all acting aside — you will notice that Norton Internet Security actually leads to the formation of Cobra, and all the chaos which results. In other words, without Norton installed on a certain computer, the Eiffel Tower would not be destroyed, several dozen extraneous characters would not die, and the world would be spared some extremely awkward, gag-inducing love scenes between Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller. How can a piece of software cause all of this destruction? Read on, but be prepared for spoilers following the jump. Spoiler Alert: Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays science geek soldier Rex, who has supposedly been killed in a friendly-fire bombing before the events at the beginning of the film.  Rex is best friends with Duke and Duke is engaged to Rex’s sister, Anna. During a military operation in “East Africa” four years before the movie begins,  Duke tells Rex to run into a building to avoid getting killed. After running into the building, Rex spots a desktop computer with data about cutting-edge  ”nanotechnology” on it. He also meets the evil, but brilliant, Dr. Mindbender, who is doing all kinds of wild nanotech research. As the building is about to be blown up by a military strike, Rex does what *any* nerd would do. Instead of running, he pops in a USB key and attempts to copy all the nanotech information. Unfortunately, when he puts in the USB key, he is hit with an annoying, Norton Internet Security pop-up, which doesn’t stop him from downloading the data, but does slow him down long enough to prevent his safe escape. He is trapped in the lab with Dr. Mindbender when the building is blown up. While watching the film, we couldn’t tell what the Norton Internet Security alert message said or what it was trying to protect. Since Rex is trying to download data that is presumably on the computer’s hard drive, it’s not clear why Norton Internet Security would pop up with a message in the first place. And, if it was supposed to stop Rex from downloading the data, it didn’t do that either. But it does ensure that he gets blown up. After the explosion, everyone, including Duke and Anna, assumes Rex is dead and they hold a funeral for him. Duke’s guilt causes him to avoid the funeral (preferring instead to drive by the cemetery on a motorcycle, looking emo)  and abandon Anna, who becomes depressed and unstable. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the audience, Rex is still alive, though severely maimed both physically and mentally, and has learned all about evil nanotechnology from Dr. Mindbender. Rex goes on to become a mad scientist named “The doctor” who wreaks havoc utilizing nanotechnology, develops a plan to take over the world (a common goal for many evildoers), and becomes the metal-masked Cobra Commander. None of this would have happened if  Dr. Mindbender’s computer did not have Norton Internet Security on it. Rex, of course, would have successfully downloaded the secret nanotech stuff and we wouldn’t have to watch awkward scenes of Marlon Wayons yelling in Celtic (I won’t spoil that one). Ah, if only Rex had known to disable Norton Internet Security! But now you know. And knowing is half the battle.