Farmville Reviewed By an Ex-Farmhand

Accumulating Imaginary Wealth

It pays to Discover, indeed.

One of the caveats of Farmville is that to really build your farm up to a respectable degree, it takes a long time to accrue the necessary virtual wealth. Not to worry: if you want to bypass the slow process of waiting for your crops to grow so you can sell them and purchase whatever nonexistent amenities you desire, you can acquire Farm Cash or Farm Coins with real, live money.

Farmville makes it simple to purchase its good-for-not-quite-nothing-but-pretty-close cash in easy increments. For example, you can buy 25 Farm Bucks for $5 (USD), or 310 Farm Bucks for $50. So, it’s kind of like taking your U.S. money to Canada in the early ‘90s, or achieving the exact opposite effect in present-day England. Not that this concept of trading real money for virtual goods is anything new (here’s looking at you, World of Warcrafters and Second Lifers), but I personally still can’t wrap my head around spending $30 of my hard-earned cash on a nonexistent vacation home. Can a weathered Farmville gamer tell me why you need a vacation home on the same property as your farm home when that’s more than enough dough for an entire month’s supply of (real) Ramen noodles?

I also couldn’t help but notice that the communities in Farmville appear to complete all of their monetary transactions The ultimate in agricultural comfort.with either bills or coins; yes, even Alanis Morissette could appreciate the fact that, while you can indeed use real-world credit cards to purchase X amounts of Farm Cash and Farm Coins, within the Farmville universe one is forced to waddle to the virtual marketplace (I don’t see any cars or trucks available for purchase), their overalls stuffed to capacity with physically burdensome cash. Now, I could forgive the game’s creators if this were, say, Age of Empires II, which is set in a time when credit cards were not yet invented. But if you’re modern enough to include something called a “Hot Rod Tractor” in your Farmville classified ads, I think the surrounding populace is ready for some plastic.

Email* (will not be published)
*Indicates required field
Submit Comments

  1. Brad Says:

    As a technogeek who also contains a healthy dose of redneck and some land in the country I heartily approve of your suggested method of fox control. Although personally I would use .223 out of an AR-15.

  2. lenni Says:

    Haha! Mr. Fink’s assesment of Farmville was great! I appreciate his humor as he attempts to build a fantasy farm.. but i suspect he has somehow been scarred for life by some innocent fox in his childhood… a re-occuring nightmare, perhaps? Good to know Farmville is a safer place in thanks to the ” Fox Avenger”

  3. Bennett Nevison Says:

    Enjoy the game for what it is guys, a game. Don’t get to frustrated early on, it is going to take some time and patience to get good at the game, but it can be a very fun way to relieve some of the days stresses.

  4. Silver Bullet Says:

    Why is it that these games must be based in reality? I’ve been on a real farm, and being a city boy, if that doesn’t make you want to fall into a coma or run in fear of 16 hours of slave labor a day, then I don’t know what will. Farmville is a game that has a sense of humor. I own a Hot Rod Tractor… and it’s funny watching it blow fire while harvesting my crops, and of course I would never see one in real life. Also, a million coins seems like going from here to the moon, but in reality, you can get that amount of coins with the right crop and harvest it every 2 days, repeat 5 more times and have a million coins, it’s not that hard. Also, it seems the writer kept the game running all day? That’s not necessary either – just a simple 10 minutes to check in on your crops and animals and your done, no need to sit there staring at the dirt. Also don’t forget, all the many bonuses, arbor hands, farm hands, prizes and gifts you can grab from all the Facebook updates throughout the day, makes getting ahead in this game much easier, and keeps it free. Unless your very impatient, there is no need to buy FarmBucks. it’s an enjoyable game, when taken in moderation.

  5. Devil's Advocate Says:

    Hey Silver Bullet, are you employed by FarmVille? You seem like you’d make a great spokesman. Also, are you aware of the words ‘satire,’ ‘lampoon,’ and ‘parody’? All synonyms, incidentally.

    Reading your comment was about as refreshing as rolling in a pile of rabid skunks before attending a BBQ of dirty hamsters.

All Product Types Accessories Cars Digital Camcorders Digital Cameras eReaders GPS Laptops MP3 & Video Players Projectors Smartphones Software Storage Tablets / MIDs VoIP Wi-Fi
All Subcategories
All Subcategories All-Purpose Budget Business Desktop Replacement Gaming Multimedia Netbook Nettop Rugged Student Tablet PCs Ultraportable
Acer Alienware Apple Archos ASUS Averatec BenQ CTL Corp. Dell Digital Storm eMachines Emtec Everex Fujitsu GammaTech Gateway General Dynamics Getac Gigabyte Hercules HP HTC iBuyPower Intel Lenovo MSI Nokia Nvidia OCZ OLPC OQO Origin Panasonic Sager Samsung Sony Sylvania Systemax TabletKiosk Toshiba Verizon Viewsonic Viliv VooDoo Workhorse PC ZT Systems
Minimum Rating
Any Rating 4.5 Stars 4.0 Stars 3.5 Stars 3.0 Stars
Screen Size
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 20 4 5 6 7 8 9
1024x576 1024x600 1024x768 1200X800 1280 x 720 1280x1024 1280x768 1280x800 1366x678 1366x768 1440x1050 1440x900 1600x768 1600x900 1680x1050 1680x945 1920x1080 1920x1200 800x400 800x480
Weight Range
10.1 - 12.0 pounds 12.1 - 14.0 pounds 14.1 - 16.0 pounds 2 lbs 2 pounds and under 2+ lbs 2.1 - 4.0 pounds 4.1 - 6.0 pounds 6.1 - 8.0 pounds 8.1 - 10.0 pounds Over 16 pounds Under 2 pounds
more options